Ozempic Update: Prices Are Lower, Food Is Good.

Being on Ozempic is amazing. There's just no other way to put it. It's amazing.

As you probably know, GLP-1 drugs are now available in generic form in Canada. The pharma company that held the patent announced it would match the generic prices. 

As soon as this happened, I asked my family doctor to transfer my prescription from the private, internet-based company. I was never comfortable using them in the first place, and I wanted my health records to reflect what I'm actually doing. The doc wanted me to have an appointment with the dietitian first. That's WRD from earlier in this blog! I was happy to reconnect with her.

I had a great appointment with WRD, talked through some things, and she sent something to my family doctor requesting to transfer the prescription. Done and done.

Things I cannot believe

This is the first time in my life I've allowed myself to eat whatever I want. Between being unable to control my weight and my eating-disorder mindset, I have done that. Every choice would come with guilt, or need rationalization, or I denied myself. Or any combination of those. 

Now I eat whatever I want, just in much smaller quantities. Overall, I have a healthy diet -- but I also want to eat things outside of that. A weekly ice cream after dinner. (A pint lasts for four or five servings.) I love food like baked pasta casseroles, but in the past, never let myself eat them. Now I do. I rarely eat fried food, but if I want a spring roll, I eat it. This is incredibly liberating.

And here's the truly amazing bit: I am still losing weight! I'm not trying to lose more weight. I was back to the -50 that I hit (and plateaued at) after surgery. But very slowly, the number is still going down. 

Wow.

Ozempic Update: How to Manage My Appetite or Lack of It

I've been using Ozempic since June 2025, so coming up to the one-year mark. I've lost all the weight I re-gained, and am now back to the full minus-50 I achieved after the gastric sleeve surgery. It's clear that I could lose more weight. But strangely, I don't want to.

Can't stop, won't stop

I tried stopping Ozempic, hoping that the tiny stomach would kick in, and the "cannot eat one more bite" feeling of satiety would return. It did not. A few days after stopping, my full appetite kicked in, and I started to re-gain weight. I'm not willing to go there. I re-started the Ozempic.

But there are two major issues.

• One is cost. Insurance in Canada will cover Ozempic or Wegovy for diabetes, but not for weight loss. Generic versions are coming, supposedly this year, but no one knows when, or what the price difference will be. Paying for it out of pocket is a stretch. I'm fortunate that we can do it, but I'd rather not!


• My other issue is a complete loss of appetite. The thing that I was afraid of from bariatric surgery, which didn't happen -- no longer enjoying food -- is happening now from Ozempic. I eat three bites and simply cannot stand the thought of eating more. I'm not full. It's not the physical discomfort of eating too much after gastric sleeve. It's a mental or psychological state. Food has no appeal. 

A dose that is not supposed to be a dose

I've been using 0.5 milligram, half the typical dose. I cannot imagine using a full milligram! On the half-milligram, I barely eat anything. There's also an unpleasant side effect: constipation. That can be tough to manage, especially since I don't feel like eating. More salad? More prunes? I can't even. I was very clear that I am not increasing the dosage.

So I cut back to 0.25. This would make the drug more affordable, and I was hoping it would be enough to maintain my current weight. But it wasn't. As soon as I halved the dose, I began to re-gain weight.

This is a real dilemma. 

Not wanting to lose more weight is deeply weird

Strangely, I don't want to lose more weight! I don't want to lose the enjoyment of food. I don't want to buy new clothes. This is so weird! I spent most of my life struggling to lose weight -- for a long time, obsessively so. 

During my years of eating-disordered mindset, Ozempic would have been a miracle. But now I just want to maintain where I am.

It's not like I'm thin. I have a chunky body, which is very typical -- or at least not at all unusual -- in women my age (mid-60s). But all my indicators are good. I take medication for high cholesterol and blood pressure, but I've had that all my life, regardless of weight, diet, or exercise. I have no great incentive to push it any further.

What I want: to continue using Ozempic in a way that is affordable and doesn't completely kill my appetite. My current plan is to alternate weeks of 0.25 and 0.5. No doctor would prescribe this dosage, I'm trying it on my own. I'll let you know how it goes.

Ozempic Update: Pleased With Success After 12 Weeks

I've been using Ozempic for three months. I've lost 15 pounds of the 20 that I re-gained, five years after having gastric sleeve surgery.

The side effects, which were not awful, have stopped. 

The effect on my eating habits is somewhat the same as the bariatric surgery, but there are differences. After the surgery, any overeating led to immediate physical discomfort. With the Ozempic, at that same point, I lose my appetite. I suddenly have no desire to take another bite. The food that I was enjoying two bites ago would now disgust me if I ate it. This is a very strange sensation!

I don't know what I'm going to do long-term. I don't have a clear plan yet. Obviously, I don't want to gain it all back, and lapse back into yo-yo weight loss and gain. I wouldn't mind using Ozempic very long-term -- the aversion to taking meds long-term mystifies me -- but it's not covered by insurance. Do I want to adjust my budget to take, say, one dose a month? And would that work? This is all unknown. 

I know that I'm not going to try to lose more than the 20 pounds, which will bring me back to minus-50. I don't even think that weight is sustainable, so I'm not going to continue, just to see how low I can go. 

Ozempic Update: Two Doses In

I won't post weekly updates about my experience using Ozempic, but I will update from time to time.

So far, all is well. Self-administering is painless, but a bit more complicated than I imagined. There are several steps and it's not necessarily intuitive. I've used two weekly doses so far, and both times followed along with a video. Easy enough.

The information said you usually start to feel a difference after three to four days, and that is exactly what happened. I had my first dose on a Friday, and when eating on Monday, felt fuller sooner. I simply lost my appetite and wanted to stop eating. Also, my nighttime carb cravings were more manageable. I found that eating a small amount of fruit took care of it. Both these things are quite different.

I have lost a little weight, which already makes me feel better. I have had some mild side effects, just some GI stuff. Nothing that an over-the-counter remedy can't fix. Side effects are supposed to taper off within a few weeks or less.

The plan starts you off on a very low dose - 0.25 milligram - to allow your body time to adjust, and to minimize potential side effects. There are cautions everywhere, telling you not to bump up to the next dosage - 0.5 milligram - until your practitioner tells you to. It is very tempting! But I will restrain myself.

Almost Five Years Post-Surgery: Weight Re-gain and Decision to Use Ozempic

I'm five years (minus four months) post-surgery. I'm not happy with my weight, or with my eating. 

Satiety cues have greatly diminished. I can eat more at any given meal, and have to be super careful to find an artificial stopping point. Worst of all, cravings are back -- intense feelings of needing to eat something carbohydrate, especially at night. I've learned a lot about these cravings over the years. It's not hunger, but it's also not emotional eating or stress eating. It's an addiction, and it takes more than willpower to shut down.

So, to recap.

Shortly after hitting the 50-pound weight loss, I re-gained five pounds. That's fine. I knew that minus-50 was not sustainable. 

About a year after that, I re-gained five more pounds. I wasn't thrilled about that, but I accepted it, and I could live with that weight.

I maintained that minus-40 weight for three years. 

And since then, I've re-gained 10 more pounds. Now I'm seriously unhappy with my weight again, and I don't want to let this go any further.

I want to note that I never got thin. Minus-fifty wasn't even thin. I look and feel significantly better than I did pre-surgery. My bloodwork is in the normal range again. But I am still my chunky, shapeless self. Meaning, the weight re-gain is significant.

For a while, I was really beating myself up, blaming myself for letting the tiny stomach expand. But I gave that up. No one knows how permanent weight-loss surgery is. It was originally thought that lap-band surgery was the fix. Now that is no longer used, because most people re-gain everything. The data on the "permanence" of gastric sleeve surgery looks at five years: if a patient retains the weight loss after five years, it's considered permanent.

Even that data is incomplete. Most people who have the surgery aren't tracked. Most people aren't part of a study, and many study participants drop out because they've re-gained weight. So the long-term prognosis is unknown. What's the point of beating myself up?

I've tried repeatedly to lose the weight I've re-gained. It starts out well: I lose a half-pound per week. Then, after three or four weeks, weight loss stops, and eventually those few pounds return. I do not want to return to the diet yo-yo! But I also don't want to be this weight.

I did a lot of research and decided to try Ozempic. Our provincial health care and our extended insurance doesn't cover it, because I don't have diabetes, and because my BMI is under their threshold. It's a sizeable expense, so it was a big decision. 

It's also impossible for me to tell if this is a rationale decision based on health, or if I'm back to obsessing on the number on the scale, if I'm having disordered thinking again. I can't sort it. I don't have the perspective. 

My hope is that a few months on Ozempic will lead to 15 to 20 pound weight loss, and I'll return to the state where it was easy to maintain that, and transition off Ozempic. I honestly don't know how realistic this is, but I'm trying it.

I had my first dose this morning. Stay tuned.

A Decision to Try Again, Four Years After Surgery

Last year I wrote about my weight re-gain, and realized I was no longer getting the immediate cues of satiety that force you to eat less after bariatric surgery. I had re-gained 10 or 12 pounds (depending on the day). I found it very easy to maintain that weight, and was feeling all right about where I had landed. After all, I'm healthier, I went down two clothing sizes, and I'm still enjoying eating. I maintained that weight for more than two years. So, I told myself, accept it. And for the most part, I did.

Then I gained a few more pounds. I've been having some issues with my feet which cause severe pain; as a consequence, I've been less active. I don't know if that caused me to gain these extra pounds, or if I was just plain eating too much, but I did not feel happy at this new weight. It was past my comfort threshold.

Having flirted with the idea of more weight loss for the past two years, I already had identified a few things I changes I could make. I decided to:

• return to tracking my eating, which seems to go hand-in-hand with not gaining weight,


• be very mindful of portion size,


• eat a more substantial dinner, then stop eating for the day -- which will also help reduce incidents of acid reflux, 


• and drink more! which is surprisingly difficult for me, but worth trying.

So I did all these things, and very quickly lost the additional 2-3 pounds. Now I'm using this as incentive to try to lose more of the weight re-gain. My goal is another 7 pounds. This may not be possible, but I'm willing to try.

The challenge, of course, is doing this without becoming obsessed. My compulsive behaviour -- mild by diagnosable OCD standards, but present in my life -- has gotten worse with age, so I'm not sure where this is going. But I'm feeling good about trying.

Observations About Weight Regain in the Absence of Easy Cues

I last wrote about my small but significant weight re-gain, and returning to tracking my eating. Although in March I wrote "see you in a month," it's been several months, so there's a decent amount of data on how things are going.

Tracking my eating has been very helpful. But despite that, I noticed I was eating more. I was increasingly concerned that I my little stomach may have stretched irrevocably: I was able to eat larger portions without experiencing the sensations that would cause me to immediately stop eating. 

For more than a year after the surgery, when I ate, I would very quickly feel full. If I ate one bite past that feeling, I was uncomfortable. Two bites, I would be overwhelmingly uncomfortable. Three bites was impossible, or I would run to the bathroom gagging. Thus I learned to be satisfied eating less!

I gradually lost this instant feedback, slowly enough that I didn't notice it on a daily basis. And then one day, I realized I was eating larger portions. In the summer we grill burgers on the deck. Last summer I would cut my burger on a bun in half, eat one half, and save the other half. This summer, I ate a whole burger with no discomfort. This worried and scared me. 

Then something interesting happened. I tried eating the post-surgery portion sizes and stopping, even though I wasn't getting that stop eating now! feeling. And I found I could stop, and was no longer hungry.

This may sound ridiculous or obvious, depending on your experience. But in my past experience, pre-surgery, I was almost always hungry. If I ate a smaller portion, I needed to cope with the feeling of still being hungry. That is very difficult to do on a consistent basis. 

The half-burger is one example. Another example is my mid-morning snack, between breakfast and lunch. I could eat x amount and not feel uncomfortable. Or I could eat half-x amount and also feel like I'd eaten enough.

So it turns out I can eat more -- but I can also eat less.

This causes me to wonder whether the disappearance of the immediate and non-negotiable feedback cues are the reason for some people's long-term weight regain after bariatric surgery. Because the big difference post-surgery is that immediate stop eating now sensation. Without those non-negotiable cues, I must be much more mindful of portion size and quantity. I must make very conscious choices of when to stop. This is a whole different post-surgery outlook. 

If you've never been overweight, or you're not someone with a big appetite who enjoys food, this may sound easy. I can tell you it is not easy. It is challenging. However, I can now do it -- where in the past, I could not.

So now in addition to tracking my food, I have to negotiate my portion size in advance of every meal. This means I can never let myself get too hungry. That's always been important for me, but now it's crucial, if I'm going to avoid re-gaining weight. 

Right now my weight is -37 from my pre-surgery weight, same as it was one year ago, and three pounds less than it was in March of this year. I'd like to lose a little more, but most importantly, I don't want to gain any more. 

Some Clarity: I Want to Lose the Pounds I've Regained (Updated)

It's now just shy of two and one-half years since my surgery. 

Recap: I lost 50 pounds, gained three or four (which I expected, based on everything I had read), and stayed at that approximately -45 weight for about a year. I was happy at that weight. 

Now I've gained 5-7 pounds over that, and I'm concerned that my tiny stomach may be stretching, my weight may be creeping upwards, and everything I've been through since the day I travelled down to Mexico -- by myself -- during covid -- will be undone.

I don't know if this fear is valid or not, but it's nagging at me. 

So I've decided I will try to get back to the -45 weight.

Today I reloaded the food-tracker app, which I have not used in more than a year, and started logging my eating again. I'm committing to tracking, eating less, and making better food choices for one month, then seeing where I am. If I lose weight in the one-month period, I'll continue. 

In this context, eating less means being very conscious about snacks -- how frequently I eat and how much. I must eat between meals, but I have to eat the least amount possible to not feel hungry. The differences are very slight.

I've been weighing myself daily, which must stop! The scale addiction is returning. I'm going to give the scale to my partner to hide, something that has worked in the past. Having to ask for the scale usually gives me enough pause to stop myself. 

See you in a month!

Update

After only two days of food tracking, I am feeling better. I am still concerned, but feeling calmer and more in control. 

Two Years Post-Surgery and I'm a Bit Confused

I'm coming up on two years since my gastric sleeve surgery, and taking stock of where I am, and where I want to go. Right now I lack clarity.

At the one-year mark, I had lost 48-50 pounds. I was thrilled and felt great.

Earlier this year, at 17 months post-surgery, I had re-gained 7 pounds, meaning that I've lost 41 pounds.

I experimented with some tweaks to my eating habits -- places where I had become less disciplined. I did lose a bit, felt encouraged... but didn't stick with it.

Earlier this year, I wrote this:

But it's frustrating that maintaining minus-50 or minus-45 should require so much effort. I didn't expect that. Minus-50 was self-sustaining for about a year, and I thought it would remain so. But it has not. 

I'd like to get back to minus-45. But I don't know if that's possible, and if it's not, I won't take any drastic measures. But minus-40 does not feel as good as minus-50 did.

This is still true.

I'm of two minds.

I felt better, and felt that I looked better, at minus-48 than I do at minus-41. And part of me is afraid that this re-gain is a slippery slope, ending in a stretched stomach and a near-total re-gain.

Yet at the same time, if minus-41 is easily sustainable, maybe I should accept this as my new benchmark? 

Remember, we're not talking about a very thin person obsessing over a tiny weight gain. At neither weight am I considered thin. So the difference between minus-40 and minus-48 or minus-50 feels significant. 

But is it? 

Am I getting too hung up on the number, and losing sight of the more important picture?

Round and round I go. 

I'm re-reading this post to try and focus on the positive: One-Year Post Surgery.

Second Travel Experience Without Weight Gain

Last summer, I went on vacation, ate very well, and was thrilled to not re-gain any weight. In the past, travel almost always led to weight gain. Breaking that pattern was amazing. It re-confirmed that many of my fears about weight-loss surgery were unfounded. It also showed me that my new habits are becoming firmly rooted.

Now, 10 months later, I've recently returned from another trip, which included a lot of great food. I was so happy to discover my weight when I returned was exactly the same as when I left. 

I was worried, and now am greatly relieved.

This is a great incentive to also quickly return to my eating and exercise plan, post-travel. 

Recent Emailed Post Was From January 2021

If you subscribe to this blog by email, you recently received a post about obsessive thinking. I am happy to tell you that post was from January 2021! I don't know why it was emailed, but I'm happy to report that I am not being tortured by obsessive thinking right now. 

I have made some adjustments to my eating habits, and would like to lose 5-10 pounds. But I have a handle on how much emphasis I'm placing on this, and I'm weighing myself only weekly. 

Thank you very much for your concern! I appreciate it very much.

Small Weight Gain, Part 2 (Update)

Thank you to everyone who commented on my previous post, both in comments and by email. 

Confession: I was reluctant to write that update, because weight gain feels like failure. And thinking that weight gain feels like failure, is in itself a failure. This is how thoughts of my weight become obsessive. I'm fighting against it. I'm telling myself all the things I would tell any friend who was experiencing this.

Here is why I'm concerned with even a small re-gain: this is how I gained all the excess weight in the first place, a small increment at a time. 

Yes, I am getting lots of exercise, eating healthfully, and not overeating. But what if the amount I am eating causes me to continue to gain weight, a bit at a time, until all my hard work is undone?

I'm not saying this will happen. But it's what I'm afraid of. 

A few folks have suggested getting in touch with Wonderful Registered Dietitian who is available locally. That's a great idea: more support, and from an expert. I recall that the last time I felt panicked about eating, a session with her was very helpful. I will contact her this week.

Thank you as always for your support.

17 Months Post-Surgery: Small Weight Gain and Trying Not to Panic

In January, I decided to stop tracking my eating. My intake was so consistent over days and weeks and months that tracking felt useless. I had been planning to update this blog with that information... and now there's some new, less pleasant news. I've re-gained some weight. 

I'm concerned, and trying not to panic or obsess.

Since hitting my lowest weight of minus-50 pounds, my weight has fluctuated within 3 or 4 pounds of that weight. From everything I've read, that is normal. The lowest weight after bariatric surgery is not usually the final destination; most people re-gain about 10% of their total weight loss, and settle there. Since I lost 50 pounds, I thought gaining 3 or 4 was not a big deal. 

But now I've gained a few pounds over that. And this is really scaring me. 

Some people do re-gain weight after gastric sleeve surgery. How much weight, and the cause of the re-gain really varies.

Is this new, slightly higher weight my "true" new weight, and I need to accept that? Or have I been eating too much? Did the few times I was uncomfortably full after eating stretch my stomach pouch? That is possible to do -- but I imagine that everyone who has had bariatric surgery sometimes gets uncomfortably full, while they are still adjusting to their new capacity. How much repeated fullness would it take for the pouch to permanently expand?

These questions are spinning around in my head, and there are no clear answers.

I'm still getting a lot of exercise, and still eating well and healthfully. I have identified a few eating habits that I can tighten up, a few little eating habits that have gotten away from me. Those are easy enough to tweak. But my past experience with the effect of small diet tweaks have on my weight are not at all good.

I guess the only thing I can do is ensure my diet is meeting the post-surgery standards, and try not to obsess on the number. The former, easily done. The latter, a much greater challenge.

One Year Post-Surgery

It's coming on a full year since I had gastric sleeve surgery. It's been quite a momentous year for me.

My weight holds steady at minus 50 pounds. It fluctuates within 2 pounds in either direction, but no more than that. I weigh myself sporadically, about twice each month. When I get concerned that I'm eating too much, I weigh myself and feel reassured.

According to the charts, I've lost 70-80% of my excess weight. This is in line with what all the medical literature says about this surgery. This means, of course, that I still have excess weight. I'd look better if I was 10 or 20 pounds thinner, but I don't worry about that. This is where my weight loss plateaued and stopped, so this is my weight. Even if I could lose more weight -- which I highly doubt -- I'd never be able to maintain it. I'm not going down that road.

I frequently feel hungry, just as I always did. But now when I am hungry, I have a very small healthy snack, and I immediately feel sated. The most important thing is to not let myself get too hungry. If I wait too long to eat, I end up eating too fast, and have a lot of discomfort. 

All my health indicators have greatly improved. My blood sugar levels are normal, and I've been able to drop one blood pressure medication. 

I'm more physically active than I've been in 30 years. I walk 5K either 5 or 6 days each week, and usually once a week walk about 7-8K. It feels great. 

And, although I didn't have the surgery to improve my appearance, the change in my appearance does feel good. 

I've gotten the hang of eating in restaurants. It's a bit frustrating, because I'd like to eat more! I wish I could save all my food for the day and have it all in one meal. But that is simply not possible. So I orderly lightly, bring most of it home, and get at least another meal out of it, often two meals. Drinking wine with dinner means eating even less... but dinner is better with wine! So these are things I have to constantly navigate. 

One fun little side benefit: I feel free to eat "fattening" foods when I want to, because the portion size is automatically controlled. In the past, if I decided to eat fries or chips, I would eat a lot, with seemingly no "off" switch. Because of that, I was always struggling to completely avoid those foods. Now if I want a few fries, it's no big deal. 

In general, I feel great. I'm super happy I had the surgery, and also very happy I had it done in Mexico rather than waiting yet more years to have it done in my province.

I haven't shared this story with anyone I work with. No one asks, as it's now considered impolite to comment on anyone's change in size in any direction. Only two people have mentioned my weight loss. One person wanted to know if I'm OK, or if I'm losing weight because of a health issue. The other person is a much older woman, who I think is probably not aware of this current norm. I'm very glad I decided to be more private about this locally. I would not enjoy the attention -- or being the subject of gossip.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me through this journey. It has meant so much to me!

Result: One Week Post-Travel

I did it.

I did it!

I went on vacation, and was more relaxed about food choices. Upon returning home, I immediately returned to pre-vacation habits. 

Result: I did not re-gain any weight.

I am beyond thrilled about this -- for the present, and also for the future. I feel like I've passed a major mental hurdle. It was not difficult to go back to proper eating and exercise. I made it a priority, really focused on it. I don't know why this was so difficult in the past, but it's not anymore.

I said I was going to wait two weeks to weigh myself, but I made it one week before asking my partner for the scale. I also returned it to him: no way I am keeping it in my bathroom at this point.

First Travel Experience Post-Surgery

I've just returned from our first vacation post surgery and since covid started.

In the past, travel has been a major obstacle to healthy eating and exercise for me. On vacation, I would eat whatever I wanted, gain weight, then have a very hard time losing it when we returned. It could take me a full year to lose the weight I gained on one trip. In addition, when travel interrupted my exercise routine, it would take me a very long time to get back to  the regimen. This was the pattern throughout my life.

So planning and taking this trip brought a certain amount of concern. I wasn't extremely anxious or worried. But it was always a concern in the back of my mind.

Obviously I don't want to re-gain any weight! But I also don't want to feel that I must be strict and disciplined every single day of my life. Vacations give us a break from our paid work, but they should also temporarily relieve us from our emotional work. While we were away, I tried to find a balance between these two needs. It was challenging.

First of all, I decided not to track my eating while we were away.

I also decided to loosen the reins on my food choices. I ate more cheese and more meat than I normally do, ate chips (in controlled quantities), more bread. 

I did both of these intentionally, which feels better than just mindlessly losing the discipline.

I can't overeat in a single meal. That's just not possible. But I could -- if I weren't careful -- eat the wrong foods every few hours, and in the course of the day, overeat. I did this while we were away, although not every day. Maybe one-third of the time.

Now I'm home. Here's what I've already done and my plan for the immediate future.

• I immediately resumed tracking my eating, and returned to all the healthy food choices. 


• I asked my partner to hide the scale. I don't want to weigh myself until I've been home for at least two full weeks.


• I plan to exercise today (our second full day home) and to put myself right back to my exercise routine. This will be the most challenging part. 

I'll report back.

PS: If you would like to receive an email when this blog is updated, please use the form on the right sidebar.

Update: One Month on the Minus-50 Plateau

It's been a month. Lots of good stuff has been happening.

• I'm still tracking my eating, and I feel like I'll be doing that for a long time to come. It gives me more peace of mind, and is very easy to do, so it's a very worthwhile habit. 

• I bought a whole bunch of new clothes! It feels wonderful to put them on. 


• I'm walking 5 kms 5-6 days/week, and usually once each week I walk a 7-km loop around our little town. It takes me past the bay, where there are eagles and herons, and snow-capped mountains in the distance. 


• I've discontinued one of two blood-pressure medications. I still take several other meds, and my goal has never been to discontinue any of them. But it's still a nice little perk.


• All my other bloodwork is normal -- blood sugar, liver enzymes, etc.

I'm weighing myself too often, but I'm trying hard not to obsess.

The last time I was the weight I am right now, I thought I was a fat oaf. I dieted obsessively, weighed myself constantly, hated my appearance, and was desperate to lose 25 pounds or more. 

Yet this is the weight at which my weight-loss settled. My post-surgery weight-loss gradually slowed and then stopped. So I feel that this must be my new normal weight, the weight that I can comfortably maintain.

However, the medical establishment and the weight-loss industry do not agree with me. According to BMI calculators, I am still obese. 

Now, I am not skinny. You might say I am "chubby" or "somewhat overweight" or similar expressions. But I could not rightly be called obese. 

Those same calculators say that my ideal weight is a minimum of 30 pounds less than I am now, giving a range of 30-50 pounds less! At current weight minus 30, I would be quite thin. Even if I could reach that weight (which is highly unlikely), I would never be able to maintain it. Current weight minus 50 is ridiculous. That would be my weight when I was 17 years old. 

From another perspective, the caloric intake per day needed to maintain my current weight is -- supposedly -- almost double what I am eating now. According to the information above, based on my size and what I am eating, I should be losing a pound per week. But I'm not. I'm maintaining my supposedly obese weight.

Something is seriously amiss.

I understand that being very overweight is not healthy. I get that. But the guidelines of what is supposedly healthy is conveniently aligned with the diet industry and all the other consumerism that feeds off people's unhappiness and insecurities.

When I say, above, The last time I was the weight I am right now, I thought I was a fat oaf, I can also say: today, at this weight and size, I feel great.

New Mailing List for 85% Thinking

As you may have heard elsewhere, Blogger is no longer supporting its follow-by-email feature. If you would like to continue to subscribe to this blog, please use the new form on the sidebar. Only your email address is required; the other information is optional. 

June 1 Weigh-In: Reaching a Milestone, Working on Not Being Obsessed

Pounds lost since last weigh-in: 1

Total pounds lost so far: 50

I did it! I lost 50 pounds! I don't know why the difference between 49 pounds and 50 feels so good... but it does!

* * * *

As I inched towards the 50-pound mark, I started weighing myself more frequently and was beginning to obsess again. 

I went back and read this post: What Is My Ideal Weight? Why I Don't Have a Weight Goal. I need to read this frequently. I don't want this experience to turn into a diet trap, the "trying to lose that last 10 pounds" scenario that I struggled with for so many years. 

Here's what I need to do.
1. Buy a few more clothes that fit at the size I am right now.
2. Continue eating and exercising the way I have been.
3. Weigh myself monthly.
4. Stop writing this blog for a while, unless there is a significant change. 

My weight-loss may end at 50 pounds, or it may continue moving slowly but downward. Either way, I want to focus on the positive, and not on losing more weight.

Thank you for reading and for all your support. 

Before and After: The Return of a Favourite Shirt

I found a shirt in my closet, something that hasn't fit in years -- decades. In all the many closet purgings I've done, I always held on to this shirt. 

I bought it at an outdoor music festival, a great indulgence at the time, but I loved it and splurged. It's hand-dyed batik, and no matter how many times I wore it, it always looked new. Even though it hasn't fit since the late 90s, I never had the heart to get rid of it. 

Yesterday I had to travel a little for work -- a wonderful treat in this almost-maybe-post-pandemic time. I wanted to wear something special, but all my dressy clothes are way too big. So I tried on this shirt. And it fit. 

This led me to dig out my "before" pics. I took these in my hotel room the night before my surgery.

October 25, 2020

May 14, 2021

I didn't have this surgery to change my appearance. If being overweight was only about lookism, I would have stayed heavy forever. I did this for my health. But the side benefit of feeling better about how I look is really nice!

I've also been working on being less photo-phobic. This is not really a function of my weight or size. I'm just extremely camera-shy and can't stand to see photos of myself. Over the last few years, I've been working on being more relaxed about it. So posting these photos here is A Big Thing.