Two Years Post-Surgery and I'm a Bit Confused

I'm coming up on two years since my gastric sleeve surgery, and taking stock of where I am, and where I want to go. Right now I lack clarity.

At the one-year mark, I had lost 48-50 pounds. I was thrilled and felt great.

Earlier this year, at 17 months post-surgery, I had re-gained 7 pounds, meaning that I've lost 41 pounds.

I experimented with some tweaks to my eating habits -- places where I had become less disciplined. I did lose a bit, felt encouraged... but didn't stick with it.

Earlier this year, I wrote this:

But it's frustrating that maintaining minus-50 or minus-45 should require so much effort. I didn't expect that. Minus-50 was self-sustaining for about a year, and I thought it would remain so. But it has not. 

I'd like to get back to minus-45. But I don't know if that's possible, and if it's not, I won't take any drastic measures. But minus-40 does not feel as good as minus-50 did.

This is still true.

I'm of two minds.

I felt better, and felt that I looked better, at minus-48 than I do at minus-41. And part of me is afraid that this re-gain is a slippery slope, ending in a stretched stomach and a near-total re-gain.

Yet at the same time, if minus-41 is easily sustainable, maybe I should accept this as my new benchmark? 

Remember, we're not talking about a very thin person obsessing over a tiny weight gain. At neither weight am I considered thin. So the difference between minus-40 and minus-48 or minus-50 feels significant. 

But is it? 

Am I getting too hung up on the number, and losing sight of the more important picture?

Round and round I go. 

I'm re-reading this post to try and focus on the positive: One-Year Post Surgery.