The Name of This Blog

Why is this blog called 85 percent thinking?

In my mid-30s, I was writing professionally, and had a run for a while writing about eating disorders. It was through that work that I first recognized my own disordered thinking about food and dieting. I reached out to one of the therapists I had spoken with, and worked with her for some time. It was difficult work and it had an enormous impact on my life.

One of my biggest pitfalls, something I've worked hard to recognize and reduce over years, is All Or Nothing thinking. All Or Nothing is a poisonous trap that prevents us from participating fully in our lives -- and it's often part of an eating disorder syndrome.

This therapist taught something she called 85 percent thinking. Whatever you're doing, whether it's eating healthfully, getting more physical exercise, or any other goal, if you're doing it 85 percent of the time, you're doing well. 

We're not machines that can be programmed to perfection. We're humans, with real lives, full of things we cannot control. That accounts for the other 15 percent.

To do anything well, especially to learn new habits, we need discipline and commitment and inner strength. But to be human, we also need compassion, and flexibility, and forgiveness -- and we must extend that to ourselves. For many people, especially women, it's much easier to be kind to others than it is to be kind to ourselves. That, too, is the other 15 percent.

That's 85 percent thinking.