How Will the Surgery Affect Life at Home?

When I was first considering bariatric surgery, one of the obstacles -- in my mind -- was how the major changes post-surgery might affect my home life and my relationship with my partner. I thought it might negatively impact our relationship, and obviously I wouldn't want to do that. 

Eventually I spoke with him about this concern, and he was very clear: don't let this enter into your decision. We've had many, many lifestyle changes over the years -- including many different ways of eating -- and we've always adjusted. Put it out of your mind as a variable. 

This was pretty wonderful to hear!

Now as I prepare for the surgery itself, with the pre- and post-surgical diet, I started thinking of how this would work in the short-term. In our world, I am the food person. I plan our meals, and I cook, and determine when I'm not cooking, and what we're doing instead. I enjoy this role and I have no wish to give it up.

A and I have a great division of labour, where we play to our strengths -- and he does a lot. Especially since we became homeowners after a lifetime of renting. He also does 90% of the food shopping, and whatever cookware doesn't go in the dishwasher. And of course, he works full-time and has plenty of his own interests.

I didn't like the idea of being on the pre-surgical fasting diet, or the post-surgical liquid diet, and just leaving A to fend for himself. He could, of course, but the idea made me uncomfortable,.

So last week, I did what I usually do every few weeks: I cooked a big batch of meals in the Instant Pot, put everything in Pyrex containers, and popped them in the freezer -- but this time, just for A. 

I never thought I'd do this! It's not like A is a helpless sitcom dad who doesn't know how to feed himself. When I go away for work or for conferences -- which I do on a fairly regular basis -- I don't cook for A in advance!

But this feels different. I'm making this huge change, and it requires a lot of support from my partner -- and I'm spending a lot of our money to do it. Making sure when he takes his dinner break that he has something tasty and nutritious to eat, ready to be re-heated and eaten, just feels like something I should do. If I didn't, I would feel selfish and somewhat guilty, and irresponsible.

I thought that cooking while fasting might be very unpleasant! So I cooked in advance, before the fast began. It should be enough for two weeks' worth of dinners (supplemented by takeout when he wants). Then I'll see if I can handle doing another round before I leave for the surgery, or else when I get back.